A day of brilliant sunshine, clear skies and early morning frost gave hashers no excuse for lying in bed and missing this one, although it also meant the hares got themselves frostbitten laying the trail.  The start saw 18 hashers set off almost together in a completely unexpected direction (away from the pub) .  We were soon fragmented although Quentin, the hash horn for the day, was on the correct trail and was soon expected to signal ON ON to the lost souls. Fat chance, his first attempt sounded more like the flatulent emission of a punctured  whoopee cushion and his second attempt  like the dying breath of an aged camel with a pulmonary embolism. After this he seconded Averil and Phil to blow his horn for him.  Although Phil was pretty good  it has to be said that Averil gave the best blowing job

The route then led us over the river Roeburn and across country following old bottoms up the hill until Old Botton farm was reached. A pause was necessary at this point  to allow the pack to close up on the FRB's  Ross the dog helped by nipping the ankles of the knitting circle at the back . The route then took us  towards Park Gill wood and then right up School hill to Russells where a friendly farmer (is this an oxymoron?) told us "they all went that way"  - but was that way right? Was he telling the truth,  was he real?,  Where was the trail?. From Russells  it was downhill to Lanehead farm and across shiggy  from Clear Beck to Hindburn Bridge. At this point Twinkletoes Rhiannon came storming  though the pack only to slow down again at the prospect of getting muddy. We continued over the River Hindburn and back into Wray where  Mark C looked so bedraggled  he was in danger of being mistaken for one of last years scarecrows. Soon ON INN was spotted  and the welcome sight of the well stocked bucket hove into view.  A coughing and spluttering Judge Pickles wisely decided not to participate in the run but provided good support  to the hash and  the scarecrow at the bucket.

Despite an excellent hash Down Downs were given to the hares for insufficient checks and failing to keep the pack together - future hares be warned - .  Virgin hashers Quentin, Sue, Averil, Anne, & Mark C were all invited into the circle to be anointed.  No More Cum (recently returned from Pattaya hash) was then given the floor to provide an insight into the bizarre nocturnal activities of Phil so that the Hash could chose a suitably offensive name.  After receiving his own Down Down for waffling, several names were suggested by No More Cum each containing the word bladder. The floor threw up a couple of variations of which 'Slackbladder' appeared to have the most support from the hash and give the most obvious discomfort to Phil  ----- and so it came to pass -----.

Twinkletoes could be a possible handle for Rhiannon and baptism is due for Dave and Gill, Jim, Lynne and Mark H very soon - get your thinking caps on....
The cold started to get the better of us so the circle was brought to a close and 13 hashers fell in to the nearest pub (11 yards away).