R*n 260: Burton in Lonsdale

In the absence of GM and ex GM our founder member Bubbles stepped into the role. I signalled to him to remind him about a scribe and the fool took that to mean I wanted to do it, hence the following load of rubbish.

April showers prevailed as the hardcore LVH3 set off on their nature trail – yes, we were treated to a ‘finch stop’, a trout farm, a donkey, a Shetland pony, some alpacas/goats/llamas (depending on who was looking at them!), and the more run of the mill stuff like sheep and cows. (Oh, and Harry). The beer stop followed a gruelling trail so was very welcome – ‘if you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join a club’ – again! The promised second beer stop was so quick we didn’t notice it, oh yea, that was because Morticia and Wednesday had been shopping (as hares do, mid hash!) and sat waiting for us at a point that we’d already run past! Classic! We didn’t want another drink anyway! It did stop raining eventually, and the circle was held on a pretty grassy/flowery bit.

DDs were awarded to Lurch for looking like a farmer lurking with intent in a farmyard, when all he was really doing was making sure we didn’t get lost! I think he was putting trail down with a teaspoon but I’ll let him off coz he stayed with us! (Unlike his missus!) Speedbump (who wasn’t wearing plasters today but perhaps should’ve been coz she was limping at the end) & Dormouse were ‘canoodling’ on the run, and wearing matching tops – aaaaah.  Antiseptic was given a ‘travelling name’ following some misdemeanours in Oz – ‘can’t remember what it is – something to do with shagging wallabies – nice! Baldbrick and Bitter, the two Bs, yes, the bastards stood and laughed and took photos of us ploughing ankle deep through mud, shit and donkey piss, after they’d gone round it all on the grass! Morticia actually had some haberdash on today – I’m sure the people in the shops thought she looked lovely! Bubbles brought a pile of haberdash to share as he has so much (and looks like shit in all of it!). Lurch claimed a hoody and looked well scary and gangster and that innit.

Off to the pub where good food and banter were enjoyed by all, and Twisted fell into the toilet coz she can’t read ‘mind the step’ written twice on the door!