TWISTED- Admit it; you’ve been checking back daily on the hour every hour in eager anticipation of this report to see what you’ve done wrong this time!

Well due to my lack of punctuality (not running with you for most of the hash) I have nothing to report. However I feel huge respect is due to your Hash Flash other ‘arf, Bitter.

For whatever his shortcomings are in multi tasking, toast making and general domestics, his timing is second to none as he has managed to record for posterity the only steam train to pass over “that bridge” in the last fifty years.

I inspected the bridge shortly afterthe train passed over in my capacity as self appointed hash health and safety rep and would like to offer my sincere congratulations to the train driver who managed to stear that iron horse across an apparently derelict and lineless bridge.

Now onto the hash itself. Although I have received this info. from a third party as I was still travelling to…apparently a hash rectangle (due to space shortage) was formedat which Lurch and Morticia informed the hash of the on out..Info. and off they went.

No doubt before I met up with them the usual hash sins were being committed. Route deviations, fish hook disregard (by Twisted and No More Cum , if the usual trends were being observed), not enough shouting On On for potential late arrivals; although credit Baldbrick, late arrivals did hear the Hash Horn loud and clear.

The hash did a good circular route of a little visited area of our beautiful Lunesdale. Panoramic views steep climbs, verdant pastures(what does verdant mean?).

Pristine woodland , so pristine in fact that the hares thought better than to despoil it with blobs of flour for would be late arrivals.

However those strategically placed cow pats were fully utilised and guided the hashers safely across the pastures full of Killer Kows(I know!... But it would make a good band name (copyright Slackbladder)).

A welcome beer stop with final instruction from Lurch, who issueda warning of flying brands from overhead steam locomotives on “that” bridge and we were off again. Note ;”WE” were off again! I had now managed to join up with the pack and was now able to witness misdemeanours first hand. They were , however , in short supply, apart from a half hearted attempt at a fish hook led by Twisted and N-M-C.

A Hash Rectangle was formed at the end of The Hash and stand in RA issued a few down downs before we rushed on to the On Inn ; The Barbon Inn at Barbon where the food and beer hit the mark.