R*n 232: Burneside

Hello Hashers

Here is the account of Run 232

We all gathered at the village on a grassy bank, and whilst we waited for latecomers, we ascertained that the village chippy opened about three times a year – unfortunately not tonight.

Two visitors joined us, Dot Com from Devon and Cum Dancing from Milton Keynes.

Madge and Syd had a domestic about which alleyway to go up to get us on trail. The correct route was found and we finally made it out of the village centre, past the paper mill and on into the green stuff. There was quite a lot of tarmac on the first part of this run, but quiet lanes, not much petrol; up and up we went ‘til we reached a goodly height. Where upon we set across country, down hill.

Loose Elastic was really quite horrid to me and said I should do all the checks.  She let me go a long way down the lane in the wrong direction, from which I never really recovered.

We had the beer stop in a lane with the bucket hidden behind a tree. Antiseptic assured us that we had beer-stopped on this spot several times in the past.

We found ourselves down by the river on a familiar bridge. One we had crossed on a run from Staveley. Slack Bladder found himself running along the river parallel to us on the wrong side. So he waded across and got a down down in the circle for polluting the river with his mucky feet.

On we went, past the beautiful hamlet of Cowan Head, with its fantastically converted mill (Beckham is reputed to have a penthouse here). More green fields and woods by the river back to Burneside.

The run concluded in a narrow path around the paper mill, which seemed to go on forever. Eventually, into the village and all back safely.

The circle was held outside the very closed chippy.

DDs were awarded to:

• Hares for the long run (it was now gone 9pm and no chance of pub grub)
• Forever Blowing for calling me ‘Paul’ from within my earshot
• Bubbles for tampering with not one but two fishhooks (good on him)
• Slack Bladder for river pollution with his athlete’s foot outbreak.

There was a hilarious moment in the circle when Cyberseptic said ‘we hadn’t introduced the virgin. He meant Loose Elastic. He was told that she had come several times. He said she had never come at the same time as him.

Antiseptic cried out “Gary” and was then at a loss for any other words – an absolute first in the many years that I have known this lady.

Most of the pack, including our visitors from afar retired to the Jolly Angler’s, a jolly good pub. Upperskirt and Master Baker were branded chavs because they went home early to watch Big Brother.

A small nucleus of hashers stayed until chucking out time. They being Bubbles, Slack Bladder and I, Baldbrick. The very lovely and very patient Forever Blowing delivered us all safely home.

A good hash.