R*n 206: Crooklands

Global warming is an issue concerning us all. The phenomonom brings with it climatic conditions such as severe spells of heavy rainfall. Something that members of LVH3 on this full moon hash will confirm to you. However I thought that global warming was to include a little bit of, like er, warming!

Anyway the hapless hashers ventured forth into the cold dark night, headtorches glowing in eager anticipation. Ready for moonlight, star filled skies, crisp underfoot. Only to be met by shiggy, stair rod rain, more shiggy etc even our beloved Antiseptic who appears to walk on water drowned in the mire. And where was this expertly laid trail? Torches scoured the canal towpath for evidence that the hares had been before us.

Rumour had it that Baldbrick tied in his duties with a little illicit hunting, confirmed by the later appearance of a goose in the back of his Hashmobile. What was this? Three blobs followed by a FT! Now we were confused. Ever tried a fish hook on a 3' wide canal towpath in pitch darkness and everyone trying to keep their tootsies dry? The hares sense of mischief did not fail them!

Loose Elastic stretched to full extension many a time searching out false trail after false trail. Slackbladder followed her up one mile out towards Kendal on the towpath, although logic told him it would be a certain false trail as it was in the opposite direction to the on inn and Baldbrick never strays too far from there. If we thought the going was wet, worse was to follow as we were soon wallowing up to our eyeballs in the proverbial through fields and up hills.

Dimming headtorches could be seen and forlorn on ons were heard as the hashers danced their sacred ritual in search of that elusive On Inn. Just when all seemed lost, Bubbles found a gateway leading to the oasis of The Crooklands pub/paddling pool, and brought to an end the darkest and wettest of full moon hashes. The circle was abandoned due to inclement weather.

As a former RA and in the absence of any circle I am issuing (without authority) the following down downs:

• Baldbrick, Masterbaker and Upperskirt - severe abuse of hashers
• Baldbrick - severe abuse of goose
• Bubbles - severe abuse of pub carpet
• Highway - severe abuse of Slackbladder