Dudley Comes to Town

It was a dark and stormy night!

On the Hest Bank shore by the rail crossing a bright moon splashed a silvery light on a small group of shadowy figures, shivering in the chill wind. Clouds hurried across the sky and the thin light was dimmed behind their grey bulk.

Just two months ago Storm Arwen had decimated the northern forests. Now it was Dudley’s turn to wreak havoc across the land.

Lurch emerged from the darkness, followed by Moricia leading three unfortunate victims - Hashers dragged from the comfort of their living rooms to take part in the monthly ritual of the Full Moon Hash. They ambled over to three more cold-looking figures and formed a rather ragged circle

Looking around, Lurch appeared a little dismayed.

“Is this it?” he asked. “Just eight of us, including the two Hares? Is nobody else coming?”.

The group looked around and nodded in agreement. Nobody else was coming. They all have more sense!

“Oh well, let’s get this over with” said Lurch and launched into a briefing mostly consisting of the words ‘wet’, ‘cold’, ‘windy’ and ‘I wouldn’t bother doing that bit if I were you’.

Then an “Off you go, there’s no one else coming” and we were off. Just three Rambos, three Wimps and the two Hares following closely to watch out for anyone unfortunate enough to fall victim to Dudley’s fury. 

Only there was someone else! We all missed Wears the Soap sitting in his car somewhere in the dark of the carpark.

Oh well never mind, worse things happen at sea…probably tonight from the looks of things!

Back to the r*n.

Over the railway, over the road and onto the canal. Then with a check, a run, another check and more running, we settled into the familiar routine of a shiggy winter hash. On on we ran and walked and slipped with feet splashing, jackets billowing and cries of ‘On on’ being whisked away by the gusting wind.

What fun it was to be out on a night like this! Who wants to be warm and comfortable when you could be cold wet and muddy?

With Hard Astern and Ready About having local knowledge and Large Package being able to sniff out flour at 300m the route became clear.

‘It can’t be that way, we’ll end up on Morecambe prom’

'It’s got to be this turn over the canal or we’ll end up in Skerton’

We soon found ourselves off the canal path and heading up to Hasty Brow and Throstle Grove, jogging through the village and back down towards the Shore.

Then came the choice - we had reached the ‘I wouldn’t bother doing that bit if I were you’ split. What to do? Should we be sensible and turn left back towards the crossing? Or foolishly turn the other way?

We could find no more flour marking the route (Lurch blamed the sheep) but why would we care, for we are Hashers through and through…and we knew the path and its challenges - what's the problem with a near-inundated field and some potentially awkward stiles and bridge crossings?

Meh! This is a Hash, who does sensible?

With a ‘splash splash splash’ and ‘clamber slip jump’ we made it to the shore, no mishap so far. Left turn at the sea, zip up the jacket (really windy here!), then a bit of ’ run run run’. and a ‘stumble trip swear’, just keep going and ignore the storm. This is fun...apparently!

And it was. Before we knew it the lights of the crossing came into view, Morticia and Fiddler materialising on the railway bridge and we could see Lurch, Ballbrick and Upperskirt starting across the railway to join us. A klaxon sounded, the barriers started to descend, the 7.58 Glasgow to London express approached and Upperskirt put on a most impressive burst of speed to reach the safety of the other side, bringing a little bit of drama to the end of a cold and windy Hash. We’ve never seen her move so fast!

Kudos to Lurch and Morticia for standing in as Hares at short notice after Sir TT was laid low by illness (get better soon) and for setting a fun and enjoyable R*n in very unpromising conditions.

On on Hashers!