R*n 775: Churchtown

Yippee! At long last, the revival of an ancient and revered LVH3 tradition - the Boxing Day R*n. Life doesn't get much better than this (I know, I really should stay in more), and who better to act as M.C.s for the big event than Bitter & Twisted, for many years the legally established Chief Druids of the Cult of Boxing Day. Not only was the obligatory tub of Quality Street present, but also mince pies! We tried not to make a big fuss, as we did not want to embarrass poor Twisted, but eventually she confirmed what we all suspected - they were from M&S. Still, they do say that confession is good for the soul, and we all fall on hard times at some time or other. Not everyone can afford Sainsbury's Taste The Difference. 

The prospect of the much-heralded Most-Unusual-Item-Of-Xmas-Attire competition had us all pooping in our pants in eager anticipation, and I was convinced I was a shoo-in for the top prize, as I was sporting a red Santa hat. Imagine my disappointment, then, when Fiddler OTH turned up wearing the identical hat! Never mind, I thought, maybe we can share the prize. Then, horror of horrors, Large Package came riding in on Santa's back (see pics), along with First Class Stomp heavily disguised as a Xmas tree, and they were declared the victors! Gutted, I hoofed off along the trail with the rest.

For much of the time, I was running alongside FCS, and, when we were on the tarmacky bit next to the wider tarmacky bit, I was heartened by the number of passing vehicles tooting their horns, obviously in appreciation of my Santa hat. I pointed this out to the human Xmas tree, but her foliage was photosynthesising and she failed to notice. I'll take the adulation of an adoring public over a cr*ppy prize any day.

In true B&T fashion, the trail was abundant in canals, and totally bereft of mountains. We even caught a glimpse of the A6. Overall, a very nice trail, marred only by some swampy bits. Next time, guys, decide which one of you goes round with the squeegee mop - don't just assume that the other has it covered. Managed to save Upperskirt from going the wrong way by explaining the difference between a straight arrow and a right-angled arrow. You just can't get suitable personnel these days. Bl**dy amateurs.

Back at the pub (the ever-excellent Horns Inn), the customary post-ambulatory down-downing was curtailed somewhat by the advent of rain, so we trooped gratefully into the hostelry for the prandials. Only three of us eating, the rest presumably having too much leftover turkey at home to ignore. Either that or they're a bunch of tightwads.

Just in case P.M. Doris and his Government decide to criminalise hashing again, it only remains for me to wish you all a Happy New Year, a wonderful Easter, and a Merry Xmas 2022. Thanks B&T for an enjoyable day, as always. Now, back to the sherry.....