R*n 583: Brookhouse

What a swizz! We wuz robbed! A clear breach of the Trade Descriptions Act if ever I saw one. This r*n definitely did not do exactly what it says on the tin.

Avid readers of the LVH3 website may well recall that we were promised a r*n from 15 Caton Green Road, i.e. a local r*n, but a local r*n unlike any other local r*n in the history of hashkind in that we would be r*nning on unfamiliar terrain along previously unused footpaths. This gave me many a sleepless night in the run-up to the big event. I would spend hour after hour poring over OS maps, vainly searching for that Holy Grail of Brookhouse hashing: a footpath we had not been on before. Eventually, at around 5.30 a.m., fatigue would cause me to lapse into unconsciousness, until the alarm clock roused me from my short and fitful slumber at six, only to skip breakfast and resume my research.

Imagine, then, my disgust on discovering that the aforementioned 15 Caton Green Road was little more than a glorified taxi-rank, where a fleet of cars awaited to transport us to the REAL starting point of the r*n: Aughton! Not Caton, nor Brookhouse, nor even Caton Green, but AUGHTON!! People, this was not a "local" r*n - you cheated!! I say fleet of cars, but there were only actually two, belonging to the hares. This was where things got a bit problematic, as those of us with long memories were rather reluctant to get into Darth Vader's car, mindful of the time she managed to trash said vehicle and a wall on an empty car park in Garstang. However, we eventually relented (after checking our life insurance policies, naturally) - after all, what could possibly go wrong on such a short journey?

Quite a bit, actually, as DV didn't in fact know where she was going. Things got even worse when White Noise started giving her directions, then abandoned her duties and started talking. And talking. And talking. During which time DV had driven past several potentially useful junctions. It took us nearly 25 minutes to get to the Wimps' starting-point, which left us wondering if the Rambos (not in cars) had already overtaken us!

They hadn't, and so the r*n exhibited a few unintended anomalies, such as the Wimps having to do all the checking while the Rambos played catch-up. Weird. Nice trail though.

Back to 15 Caton Green Road and lunch, and here at least the fates were smiling on us, as the rain held off just long enough to enable the planned barbecue to take place. We then hastily adjourned indoors to enjoy several more hours of Twit and Tw*t hospitality, not to mention copious alcoholic beverages. Evening came, and we thought we'd better go, as we didn't want to throw up all over T & T's carpets. Or maybe we did want to, but just thought we better hadn't. I don't know. Hey ho. On On.