R*n 238: Forton

A location south of Lancaster was a convenient one for us hashers that reside towards the southern hemisphere of our County and therefore myself and Twisted were able to make a rare appearance at a full moon time hash.

A select gathering had assembled for what the hares promised to be a most pleasurable hash, ‘not too long’, ‘no shiggy’, ‘dry’, etc, etc. Food orders were taken for the on inn before the start from a distinctly un-hash like menu, i.e. a bit up-market and no chips and gravy. However, knowing the food was guaranteed together with a reserved table was most gratifying! Well done hares!

We were aware of the impending arrival of a virgin hasher to whom I had issued directions. Needless to say he had got lost and would probably arrive about 15 minutes after the allotted start time. We decided to leave him behind in favour of a prompt start, although Master Baker kindly offered to wait behind and chauffer him to a convenient point on the hash later on.

Off we went across fields and stiles, when it occurred to me that our normally (in)-efficient GM had failed to allocate a scribe at the start. I enquired with said GM who was scribing and was informed that this had been forgotten about. I muttered something about the wisdom of members of the fairer sex being placed in positions of power, followed by something else about the GM not doing her job properly. The outcome of this was an extreme display of abuse of power resulting in my good self being allocated scribe duty. Is that unfair or what!

On through Forton village and across the A6 where we were joined by the virgin and the hares. Across fields towards the M6 where a stampede of herding cows threatened to bring a premature end to the whole future of LVH3 hashing. Then the bog. Yes, bog, followed by a quick trip into the nearby river for a cleansing of footwear and legs, much to the consternation of some of our newer members!

On to the wimp-rambo split with splendid views of the full moon for those who chose the more adventurous route. A quick run back to the on-inn completed a most pleasurable hash, rewarded by consumption of fine food and ales immediately afterwards.

Down downs were awarded to myself for (legitimately!) slagging off the GM and to Peter the visitor for being a virgin and for being late for the start. This was followed by the christening of Bloody ASBO who was delighted with her new hash name.