Lune Valley Hash House Harriers

Nash Hash 2007

The Luneys on tour to NashHash 2007, held at Towcester Racecourse on 24th to 27th August.
LVH3 hounds: Cyberseptic, Antiseptic, Upperskirt, Baldbrick and MasterBaker.
Scribes: Antiseptic and MasterBaker.

Cockermouth H3 R*n #145

This write-up was stolen from Cockermouth H3!

Date: 5th August 2007, 11am
Venue: Briar Bank, Cockermouth
Hares: Reuters and Misdemeanour

After the shock news of a Foot & Mouth Outbreak in the Southern Hashlands, the planned Embleton hash was rapidly rearranged to start at Cockermouth chez On Secs.

In traditional style, the hashers upset the neighbours by parking in front of their houses and parading in brightly coloured attire (apart from a few nameless ones modelling New Balance designer wear). The hash numbers were swelled by the welcome presence of 4 Loonies - (Lune Valley H3), namely Highway, Baldbrick, Upperskirt and MasterBaker.

The route started from the front garden of the Hares and after much confusion the pack found the correct trail around leafy suburbia before the walkers and runners routes split with the walkers heading of for the trim trail in Harris Park. Meanwhile, the runners eventually reached Simonscales Lane heading along the river through much-needed shiggy. At one point the river had burst its bank to cover the path. This is a British summer after all!

The sweet note of Baldbrick’s horn kept the running pack together. On reaching Harris Park the runners rejoined the walkers route. A wayward note from the horn confused a passing 5 year old who thought that a ship was coming in. Cocker may become a navigable waterway for cruise liners by next year and pinch Workington’s tourists.

The running water meanwhile was having an effect on the walking females hashers who took time out to take part the annual event ‘P in the Park’. Uncharacteristically for Slasher the public facilities were actually used.

Spreadlegs went AWOL in the park and found her former hash friend ‘The Pirate’ who was retrieving his frisbee from the river. After a few laps of the park, the walkers and runners routes converged and the combined pack made their way down Walker Street and then across Gote Bridge. At this point Plum Tart defected and joined the runners. (What- a defective hasher!) The walkers headed into the Memorial Gardens while the runners went on a loop up Gote Road. The carefully set checkback was shunned by the runners who could smell the flour near Jennings Brewery. Some even went into the Brewery Shop in the hope that the Jennings-sponsored tee shirts would lead to an impromptu beer stop. Alas there was nobody in the shop and the hashers resisted the temptation to help themselves, knowing that a superior tipple was awaiting them at the end of the hash.

A spate of careless blobbing caused some more confusion and brought back some musical memories amongst the George Michael fans. By this time the thought of beer and food was too much to bear and right on cue an On In appeared.

The hashers tried to make amends after previously upsetting the neighbours at Briar Bank by treating them to some mud-covered flesh as they changed on the street, drive and car port. The excellent Hesket Newmarket beers helped to replace some lost calories while the assembled throng took part in the new spectator sport. Thong was erecting his gazebo but he had a missing pole. Fortunately for Thong there were some pegs with this shelter. It’s a miracle no ASBOs were dished out on this hash. The all too brief down downs were followed by a haute cuisine Barbie courtesy of the Hares.

InterHash 2006 - The Septics

18th Oct. After a few days in Singapore we started with the pre-rumble kick-off run with Singapore Harrietts. Over 450 people turned up at Turf City – the old Singapore racecourse turned run-down shopping arcade. Plenty of our hash friends were there from Scarborough, Yorkshire and Isle of Wight hashes and after much catching-up, the buses for the long run were leaving. The run site in the jungle was accompanied by monkeys cadging food. After a briefing, the long run set off around the muddy, thickly forested banks of a reservoir and along seemingly endless forest tracks to the amusement of groups of Singapore army recruits doing jungle survival training. The run finished in the dark with nibbles of fried stuff and fruit, followed by an un-memorable circle and beer. The other runs seemed to take a long time to get back but eventually food was served for everyone under a collection of gazebos and a good time was had. We caught a bus and metro back to the hotel because we needed to be up early next morning for the Rumble train.

InterHash 2006 - No More Cum

After a week of beer-drinking and no running at Eurohash last year, I was determined to make an effort this time. I had 10 days in Thailand, which is pretty short for me, but had a fairly tight schedule planned.

After arriving at the recently opened Suvarnabhumi airport, my destination was Pattaya by way of the Scandihooligans 200th run on Koh Si Chang island. I met a fellow hasher at the airport and shared his cab for the 80 minute drive to Si Racha, where he dropped me off before continuing his journey to Pattaya. As I descended the steps on the other side of the highway, I was immediately picked up by a local taxi and whisked off to the ferry terminal for the princely sum of about £1.50. The ferry left 10 minutes later, the ride took 40 minutes and cost 65p. Once on the island, I took a motorbike taxi, which dropped me on the required beach. It was by now about 1530. I began to recognise the familiar silhouettes of my friends and had soon removed most of my clothes and joined them in the water, where cans of iced beer were available from floating polystyrene coolers. I was home. I had missed the run, but had come just in time for the circle and festivities.

Finally United, Checked, Knackered In Tyneside

LVH3 Hounds: Antiseptic & Cyberseptic Held on 18th September 2005 from the Sundial Public House, South Shields, Tyne & Wear. Annually after the Great North Run half marathon, Newcastle Hash meet at 3pm for a r*n from the Sundial, South Shields sea front, live haring each stage from pub to pub.

Scarborough Steamy Weekend

by Antiseptic LVH3 Hounds: Antiseptic, Cyberseptic & Bubbles Held on 17th September 2005 on the North Yorkshire Moors Railway, Pickering Cyberseptic and I were due to arrive in Pickering for 11:00 start but due to unforeseen traffic problems and an average speed of 12.7mph we arrived at 12:30 (what a surprise! - ed) in time to catch the train! Bubbles was there having arrived the night before.

Settle & District (The SAD Hash) R*n #7

by Minor Tw*t

LVH3 Hounds: Bubbles, Forever Blowing, Antiseptic, Cyberseptic, Baldbrick, Upperskirt, Major Twit and Minor Tw*t

Held at 7pm on 11th October 2005 from Halfpint's house, Settle

A goodly number from Harrogate H3 joined the r*n together with two 'professionals' from Settle Harriers - you know, proper runners!

Newcastle '600'

by Upperskirt LVH3 Hounds: Bubbles, Forever Blowing, Lurch, Morticia, Baldbrick, Upperskirt, Hash Drunk and Pickmeup Held on 9th to 11th September 2005 at Westhall Scout Campsite, Moor Lane, Cleadon Off we went for a weekend at the seaside to join Newcastle hash on their Nylon Heaven (9/11) weekend, which was their 600th run.

Nash Hash 2005

by Forever Blowing & Bubbles LVH3 Hounds: Antiseptic, Cyberseptic, Bubbles, Forever Blowing, Baldbrick and Upperskirt Held on 26th to 29th August at Easton College, Norwich Lune Valley were on the woad... The Ancient Britons Hash was to be held in the mountains and valleys of Norfolk, well you know what I mean, we found one hill (very steep!) in the middle of Norwich, otherwise it was a weekend of very flat hashes. Our campsite was the edge of a playing field directly adjacent to an enormous field full of very vociferous pigs. What an incredible noise they make when it is nearly breakfast time!!

Eurohash 2005

by No More Cum LVH3 Hound: No More Cum Held on 12th to 14th August 2005 in Heemskerk, The Netherlands This write up covers a time-span from Monday 8/8/05 to Monday 15/8/05 and covers the whole hashing experience through my distorted eyes. It includes as much as you really want to know and purposely omits the events of Thursday 11/8/05, which relate to a Pattaya hash, which is not even discussed in Pattaya. The fact that I spent all my time with the troops from this unit will lead you to draw your own conclusion.